


No, YOU do the mission report

by storm_of_sharp_things



Series: storm's 00QLDWS 2020 [3]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 2020, Community: MI6 Cafe | mi6_cafe, Dialogue-Only, Humor, LDWS, M/M, Mission Fic, Week 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24388249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_of_sharp_things/pseuds/storm_of_sharp_things
Summary: MI6 Cafe LDWS 2020 Week 3Prompt:slipGenre:Dialogue-onlyWord Count:300slip-noun(FOR BOAT) a place where a boat or ship can be parked, between two piers
Relationships: James Bond/Q/Alec Trevelyan
Series: storm's 00QLDWS 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754773
Comments: 12
Kudos: 34
Collections: MI6 Cafe Last Drabble Writer Standing





	No, YOU do the mission report

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble is exactly 300 words by the counter used in the competition, no matter what AO3 says  
> ^_^

“007, why are you driving a boat through the harbour?”

“I’m _piloting_ this _yacht_ because it’s too bloody big to leave drifting as a navigational hazard. The harbour patrol would notice and there’s a dozen dead bodies aboard. I assume you don’t want an international incident...”

“Q, tell him it’d only be his third this year and...”

“Alec, shut up and make sure the deck is clear. Q, find out where this wallowing scow normally docks, will you? We'll look suspicious if we just wander about like this too much longer.”

“Too late, James, harbour patrol incoming. Q, got any long-distance lasers?”

“Fuck. Alec, can you divert them somehow? We can’t let them board us.”

“007, head to the northern section of the harbour, to a marina called the Golden Seas.”

“Right. Alec?”

“Just steer us straight and leave the distraction to me.”

“006, why are you stripping that corpse?”

“Q, have you got a drone in the air somewhere? If so, you might want to avert your tender gaze...”

“006, why are _you_ stripping?”

“Take a deep breath, quartermaster, I’m about to engage in a distraction guaranteed to send them away.”

“You’re...tell me you’re not _actually_...”

“Stop snickering, James, and please explain to our poor innocent quartermaster while I shout angrily at the fools who’ve dared to interrupt our erotic escapades.”

“Well, Q, when a boy likes another boy...”

“ _007!_ ”

“No, quartermaster, Alec is not going to engage in sexual congress with a fresh corpse. But the harbour patrol won’t interfere with a rich man’s pleasure cruise, either. They know where their bribes come from, especially when they’re reminded in such _colorful_ Russian. Entering the marina now, Q.”

“Oh, er, slip 24 is the correct one, 007.”

“Right. Dispatch a cleaning crew and we’ll be happy to report our mission complete.”


End file.
